I have recently been taking some time for self-reflection to discover what my heart yearns for. The answer was simplistically surprising, likeness. When I am centred in my heart it is a sensation or feeling of expanded joy and immense peace, I realized that what I am truly looking for is an external representation of that inner experience; a harmonic likeness, a balance and congruity between my inner and outer worlds. For my outer world to reflect my inner one would mean that I am living my truth which is the ultimate freedom, and so I began to look at where my external world is incongruent with this experience.

While it is profoundly true that I can create any internal experience (emotion) regardless of what is happening externally around me, some of my own actions are creating discomfort, anxiety and stress in my life, it is these actions that I knew I needed to focus on. It was a theme for me involving money, of existing in a perpetual state of having just enough and an inability to use what extra I would receive to promote peace. Instead I would continually spend any surplus, keeping myself locked in a place of disharmony. This causes me to feel anxious, regretful (often over buying something frivolous I didn’t actually want only to fulfill some need I didn’t realize I was trying to fill… unsuccessfully I might add) and perpetually adrift.

This drama I re-enact on a monthly basis at one point in time used to give me something I needed, perhaps it was a distraction from things I wished I didn’t have to do, or a way to feel alive? Whatever the benefit used to be, it has come and gone a long time ago and yet left me with an unfulfilling behaviour. What I really need became instantly clear once I looked at my theme through the eyes of my inner experience, through the peace I was feeling. To be financially unburdened (free of debt) and the peace that that would bring to me is of far more benefit then what ever thrill I get from buying that amazing pair of Steve Madden Open Toe Red Pumps on sale. Drama for the sake of Drama was a cage that I perpetually put myself in, I didn’t realize I was doing it but the feelings it created were perfectly evident.  The next and final step in my epiphany will be the actual physical achievement of the congruity my soul is striving for, and I know taking it one step at time I can achieve it.

                  This way of finding out information was a new one for me and I plan to use it again, it was so profound and yet simple. This experience not only helped me to transform a very negative and self-abusive tendency but it reformed how I think of healing in general. I am still unsure of how this transformation will turn out as the ideas and feelings are still forming and I will keep you updated. Until then try to centre yourself and find what your heart is yearning for and then look for areas of your life that are incongruent with your soul’s need. We all yearn to be free, to be joyous, and to live in harmony even if we don’t know it in so many words, today I found my words and they were that peace is worth more to me then drama.

Wishing all the very best to all in every moment, 

Charlotte Brammer